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November 2, 2016

Match Series: Proud & Will Not Compromise

 


As well read and "worldly" as I think I am, I never realized how naive I am until I joined Match.

Men aren't created equal in that some are gentle while other are just big pieces of shit. Signing up for Match has me thinking that since it's a paid membership that it would whittle out some of the POS you'd find in say, Tinder.

While the men I've interacted so far are decent for the most part, there are still some who left me scratching my head in wonder, frustration, and even fascination. Like how can one be so educated yet remain so ignorant at the same time!


Like I know geography is taught in elementary so how can you not at least be familiar with Asia, the largest continent in the world, and the most diverse? Not all Asians have slanted eyes, can make sushi, aren't masters of every language spoken in the region, and lastly, the women aren't trained for domestic servitude.

Then there's my accent. I get how it can be funny at times the way I say some words, but if it's a constant jab I have to admit that it can get irritating and insulting even. I know I don't sound like an American and I'm okay with that. However, I look at it from a different perspective and I'm proud of it because it means I learned and are fluent in another language other than mine versus a lot of these jerks who keeps bastardizing the English language and can't even distinguish between your/you're or there/their for instance. Don't even get me started on grammar and spelling. Oi!

I guess you get my drift. The lesson I learned here is that inasmuch as I aim to be presentable and conform even, I will NOT compromise my identity just to meet the status quo. If you don't like how I sound like, the extra melanin on my skin, or my dorky qualities, feel free to swipe left for these are the same things that make me unique and provide me the opportunity to offer something "else".

That said, this goes to every relationship we have. I want to be in relationships that I actually LIKE for a change and never again will I compromise myself for someone's approval. I love myself too much for that bullshit.








Talk Supe


41 comments:

  1. You should love yourself, Braine! You are very lovable, and kind, and funny, and smart, and cute, and huggable :) I'm sure there are many more great qualities I could add, this was just off the top of my head ;)

    You should read "Trust" by Jana Aston when it comes out next week, it has a little bit about online dating and the strange things that can happen with that. I have to say I'm kind of glad I am in a relationship, I think I would probably be both too scared and too lazy to try to find someone if I didn't.

    {{{BIG HUGS}}}

    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

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    1. Okay, I will hunt that book down. And yes, you don't want to be single in this day and age!

      Love you long time, Lexxie!

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  2. you're right, you don't need to be someone else as you're you! You have so many qualities too. Good luck for everything girl!

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  3. When I was on Match (and yes I left it single and still single)--it was such a beat down. I don't know why I expected men in their 40s to not act like they were in a frat house but evidently that was wrong of me. Never conform because honestly it is much better to be yourself!

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    1. OMG yes! Especially the divorced ones! I'm not generalizing but a lot of them come across like hormonal teens! I should invite you over to share your experience/s...

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  4. You should never compromise or change who you are for someone, that isn't ever what a relationship (of any kind, friendship too!) is about. Yay for you!!

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    1. Yeah it took me a long time to realize that. I've whittled down my "friend" list and I believe I'm happy with the ones left on my circle. Thank you, Ali :)

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  5. If they don't like you for the person you are, then just move on. No need to compromise yourself.

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  6. Good for you! If they are too ignorant to see YOU, then they certainly are not the right men for you. Do not compromise who you are. Other things must be compromised in relationships to make them work...but never who you are!

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    1. Wise words and I totally agree. I should ask married people to jump in and do relationship stuff.

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  7. Stay true to yourself. Men constantly amaze me with their...own way of looking at things. Even Mr Wonderful, my hubby, gets to me with his ideas sometimes. I guess men and women need to be different so we can approach things from different angles and find the best one????
    sherry @ fundinmental

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    1. You're so lucky with your hubs, he still woos you and that's sadly uncommon.

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  8. Hear, hear, Braine! We should ALL love ourselves, be proud of where we come from, and embrace all the experiences we've had that make us who we are. You have so much to offer - in any relationship - and I'm so, so happy to hear you say you won't compromise just to be in one.
    I hope you find (found?) your *Match*, girl!! You deserve to share your awesome-ness in a relationship. And any guy would be lucky to have you...it'll be the *special* one to appreciate you!

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    1. Awww that's so sweet! Thank you, Brandee!

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  9. Well said, lady! You be you and if they don't like it to Hell with them. You will find your match soon. I know it.

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    1. Gosh it's so rough being single these days! Y'all married/in a relationship people are spared from a lot of dating nightmares for sure!

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  10. I think most people (men and women) pretty much suck. lol Sorry things aren't going quite as well as hoped :/

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    1. true, I asked some guys how their Match experience are going and I'm appalled by the behavior of some of the women! Hahahaha!

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  11. Your and you're annoys me so much ;)

    Seems there are a lot of asses out there, but alas, that is life

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    1. Hahahaha! Right?! LIke stop butchering your own language which also strips them the right to criticize me lol

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  12. Now, see, I would have been just as naive and thought a paid matching site would mean people were serious about looking for a relationship. But wow, those complaints are just...incredibly wrong. That would hurt, but I'm glad you are aware that this is about their issues and not you. There are good people out there and I meet them going about my job (though granted it doesn't seem as often as I meet people with issues). Hopefully, you will encounter a treasure of your own, too.

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    1. Right?! I realize that different things motivate people. There are some who are good but there's no chemistry so it's also a swipe to the left... thanks!

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  13. Oh wow, I'm so glad I'm not out there knocking on relationship's door again. I don't know that could survive. Or maybe baby boomers have a better time of it, but I'd have to kill off my husband to try it and the relationships in a women's prison is not one I want to learn more about. LOL
    Thanks so much for sharing your adventure. I hope you have met some kind men and fingers crossed that you meet someone worth your time

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    1. So true! Like I unfortunately know both sides now, old school courtship and all these new age crap. Old school is so much better, more sincere and easier even. Online dating is so harsh!

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  14. ugh I've only done like a teen site for match.com a really long time ago. I met my husband on an online game and I was glad I did, but I can understand the frustration as I was not born in America either and my country gets confused with another and people assume things and the whole accent thing, ugh, frustration.
    But yes, people are that stupid sometimes >.< it's unfortunate assumption of cultural stereotypes

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    1. That's so cool and I'm happy you can relate to this post.

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  15. I heard that mic drop at the end. :D Excellent post and so very true.

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  16. You go girl! This is such a great post. I agree with everything you're saying. Even while I haven't dated since college, I do interact with people and see their stupidity along with their superiority. It seems that many, the dumber they are the more superior they feel. Good luck on these adventures.

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Rabid Reads

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    1. Thank you and you're so lucky you're not dating anymore. Lol

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  17. I am glad you aren't willing to change and are proud of who you are. Your Momma must be proud!

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  18. Girl, you better preach! Dont settle...Im learned that and still am. Some of these dudes out here want standards when it comes to whom they want to date but want us to settle for their messiness..man bye!

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    1. Beyonce is playing in my head #Iaintsorry #boybye

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  19. Good on you Braine for sharing this! Sometimes people are incredibly close-minded and it's funny how encountering them can really shed some light that there ARE people like this. What you said about the Asian stereotypes made me pretty annoyed, because as much as we would like to think so, a lot of guys still think that exists. Good on you for not changing yourself to conform!

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  20. Jeez, I'm sorry. That really sucks. I wish I could give some input, but I know I ended up getting lucky with my wife (we met in high school and have been together for over a decade). I hope things work out a little better.

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  21. I really hope you haven't encountered many of those aholes *shakes head* you're an awesome person and if they can't see it then something is wrong with them!!

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