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July 27, 2016

Match Series: The Backstory (Online Dating)


Hey y'all and welcome to my new blog series chronicling my online dating adventures. 

Don't judge! 
Okay you can.
But in my defense, this is one of the many ways that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. As I mentioned in last week's Gush & Gripe, I'm in the process of making a life change and I figured why not try online dating?!


Well it wasn't cut and dry like that. I'm a hopeless romantic and still believed that I will "stumble upon" my Knight in Rusty Armour. However, I don't think the Law of Attraction is being efficient in this sense because it's not really happening. After a back-to-back heartbreak, a 2-year dating hiatus, and a lot of badgering from family and friends, and multiple free trials, I finally bit the bullet and signed up for Match.

I'm skeptical at worst and pragmatic at best. I'm aware that a lot of these dudes are doing the online dating thing just to get some pussy FAST! Plus not everyone is really honest with their description (I didn't realize body type is relative like some consider themselves athletic when really their far from it. Don't even get me started on the photos!). So I put my own rusty armor on, armed myself with heaps of snark, and added my best version of a discerning attitude. 

Is it working?, you might ask. I'm happy to report that I haven't recieved any lascivious messages or have been propositioned for sex. That said, I've "met" a few players, some are obvious as their profiles are simply screaming that they're just looking for a good time, so I guess I know where to look for stress relief via sexology; while others seem earnest in their search so I'm not completely disheartened at this point. Still, weeding is a challenge and the "search" can be exhausting! There's so many profiles to look at but the upside is I'm getting disensitized and find myself getting more objective in terms of filtering out the "possibles" from the "nos".


If you're not familiar with Match, it has option to Like, Wink, and Message, and since the playing field is even, there's no shame in making the first move. I have to say though, it takes several layers of skin to do this online dating thing and I applaud those people who've been doing this for some time. Rejection is your main enemy here and the best advice I can give anybody who is thinking of doing this is to not take things personally. You'll do your own share of rejecting and you'll also get a good serving of it so there's a healthy balance to it somewhat. 

Thanks for checking out this first post, next time I'll tell you about Johnny Bravo. Until then!








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30 comments:

  1. Good luck with it, I know how daunting it can be, my mom struggles with this a lot and has been single a few years because of it. Just don't giv eup, your knight it out there somewhere!

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    Replies
    1. Your mom is on a dating site too? We should get together and share stories lol

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  2. Good luck. My daughter broke up with her fiance last year and she's been using Ok Cupid. But not a lot of luck so far. Just be careful meeting these guys. I'm sure you already know to meet in a public place the first time. It's the mom in me that makes me say that. lol

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mary! I have a lot to learn and yes, safety is first! Sorry to hear about your daughter, I'm sure it's for the best.

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  3. Good for you...I wish you success and it sounds like you are being sensible in your approach.

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  4. I havent been on Match in a while...got a lot of youngings (ewww)and fuck boys/men (yuck!).I maaaayyy dip my feet back in...idk yet. Let me know how it goes. Hell,maybe Ill sign back in so we can share stories, lols

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  5. Good luck finding your sexy mountain man <3333 Keep me updated!!

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  6. Good luck and please please be safe!

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  7. Congrats Braine. I'd like to announce that Match and other sites do work. My daughter is marrying the man she met online three years ago. Hers was a rather complex situation where her "date" turned out to be a friend of a friend so when they started dating they actually had some real connection. But they do produce HEAs and yours could be one. I'm glad your getting out there and I've got my fingers and toes crossed for youXO

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  8. I met BF online, 8 years ago :)

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  9. I hope Match will work for you, Braine! My mom has been married for five years, and they met on an online dating site, so it's definitely possible :D
    *hugs*
    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

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  10. I wish you the best of luck, B. I know it's tough navigating the dating world, but with patience, I'm sure you'll find the one. :)

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  11. brings me back to reading Click by Lisa Becker :')At least you're having fun right? Good luck

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  12. Hi Braine,
    I think it's great you're putting yourself out there! I was single for ages and ages and ages before I met my knight/dude/THE One and I had some serious tales to tell by then.

    Cough, cough.

    Have you considered OKCupid? I'm not sure what its rep is now, but I met my husband on there three years ago and we couldn't be happier-now have a little girl who's almost a year!

    Just saying it can totally happen and it does all the time, so keep that in mind as you weed through all the poisonous plants. It's pain in the ass, but totally worth it to get to keep a keeper.

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  13. I've been curious how these online programs work. I'm taken, but still curious for friends. Hope it works out for you!

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