Giveaways


Coming soon...

December 14, 2015

Gush & Gripe: Why I Think Erotic Heroes are Superheroes


If you've read a super sexy novel or erotica, I think you'll agree with me that these... people are superhumans. I mean I'm not going to pretend that I know all there is to know about sex, I just live vicariously through these people. Still I know a little biology and health science and some of the things I've read are so out there that I'm convinced that the lead characters in erotic novels have an extra chromosome or two. Here's why:

  1. They don't get STI or even UTI! All that sleeping around and not even a rash or an allergic reaction. Ladies, let's be real here, if you don't pee after, your chances of getting UTI is up there. And what's up with the "clean waiver"? Like "yeah I'm clean, you're clean, doesn't matter that we're strangers, let's have unprotected sex." *rolls eyes* And these women just cuddle and wake up without morning breath the next day. Zero morning breath being reason 1.5. 

  2. And just like werewolves or the otherworldly, the men can pick their mate out of the crowd. And once they zero in on you, you might as well get yourself a ball and chain because you're not going anywhere. Consider yourself possessed by your man. 

  3. How about their endurance? Like 5 orgasms in a row or sex all day? I was young too, so I get appetite, these people on the other hand are just voracious, juicy, and just tireless! Don't get me wrong, it sounds awesome, I'm jealous for sure, at the same time, it's so superhuman! Maybe I should start training for marathons? 

  4. Condoms be poppin! Remember Christian Grey? The dude has condoms everywhere, all the time. Like I'm half convinced he's Spiderman, I think he has a device that creates this web that forms into a condom when the need arises. 

  5. They have killer sense of smell. Like they can smell your arousal from across the room? Hmmm... from what I know, pheromones are odorless so unless they're part canine, or some animal, the only way they can smell "it" is if the lady's bits haven't been washed or wiped in a long time. Okay, that's just eww!

These are all I have so feel free to add to the list.

And don't take it the wrong way, erotica is a non-magical version of fantasy. It's selling an idea with a guarantee that everything will work out in the end. Very contrary to real life, but it's a worthy escape. And to clarify, my list isn't a criticism, in fact I envy these people! The relationships are just so absolute, even the dubious one, and there's comfort in having a guarantee. At the same time, it's also so out there, you know what I mean? 

That said, I feel like sex is so overrated. Don't you? 

The new generation might not know it, but I remember the days where showing your boobs is R-rated, men don't show their dingdongs, and vaginas are artfully shown. And these things just happen on cable TV. Now even primetime is getting raunchier, it's hard to watch TV with kids nowadays. And don't get me started on the Billboard Top 40 songs. I thought Two Live Crew was dirty, some of the songs these days is just... icky. It might be hidden in metaphors, but I don't feel comfortable hearing my 5yo niece singing Anaconda or some shit like that. 

In terms of books, I love erotica and sexy romances, but lately I find myself skipping the rest of the sex scenes after the first one. There's only so many ways you can put your tongue, finger, penis, or some other accoutrement, in a hole, so I'm good. 

I don't know if it's my age, or if I'm getting desensitized and saturated, but sex in fiction has lost its effect on me. Excitement, arousal, shock, even distataste, I don't feel these anymore lately. I don't feel the sexual response anymore, I'm after the characters' emotional connection and the evolution of their relationship. 

So why do I still read erotica? 

It's hard to explain because my answer is abstract. I can only compare it to people reading NA (which I generally don't like). I love how raw the emotions are, how vulnerable the characters get in the moment, how faith-full they are to each other and trusting of their love. That unfiltered, unprocessed feelings is what I find so appealing, add some thrilling mystery and I call it a perfect read.








Talk Supe


53 comments:

  1. I never get the sex all weekends, or 4 times after each other. Let's take a pee break somewhere wont we

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right or how about sustenance? No wonder they're so ripped! All that pumping and no calorie intake!

      Delete
  2. While I like erotica, I like the paranormal romance or erotica even better because with vampires, demons or shifters, there's a reason they have so much stamina or magic during sex and it works better for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, even if it's fantasy, their endurance and other skills are justified. Then again maybe I haven't met a super sexual make yet so for all I know, this person does exist

      Delete
  3. well... you know that erotica is quite a difficult genre for me... But I have some good, in fact I have a Erotica PNR that I really enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm dying laughing right now. Sick as a dog, but you just made me feel better. LOL! I say it to myself all the time, everything you mentioned above and then some. I'm totally about to give TMI. With all that stamina going on in the books I read, my boyfriend knows when I've been reading it. He says I get all porn star on him and he loves it. But then I expect him to not tire, that's where he reminds me that he's human. I will not tell you about what happened when I discovered Gideon Cross. I will not!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey that's a perk! He shouldn't complain coz he's reaping the benefits.

      Delete
  5. It's never bothered me for the most part. Which most of the stories I read are paranormal, so they write off the STDs as not being able to get diseases. I think I look at it all with a suspension of disbelief and go with it. As for the amount of sex, I don't want a story that is all sex, there must be good characters and a good story or I don't want to read it. I do see what you're saying above and it does bother me sometimes, but most of the time, I just ignore it.

    I will say that I recently listened to a story with a shifter that just found out about his 4 YO son after a one night stand and the mother dies and give him the son. Then he goes and has unprotected sex with mother's best friend. I thought that was kinda dumb. Did he not learn his lesson? I know he loves his son, but still.

    I guess sometimes it bothers me and sometimes it doesn't. I guess it depends on the mood I'm in at the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know what you're getting at. I'm all for unusual circumstances, but when it goes too much against the grain, it stops being believable and just becomes... stupid. Like your example

      Delete
  6. I don't like most e-rom only those with one couple NO SHARING and the first time they have unprotected sex unless they're a) married or b) have been exclusive I shut the book. In fact I've even talked my editor at the publication I review for to cut the rating on books that in this day and age endorse unprotected sex. I'm not a prude so don't get me wrong AND I wish the US was more like Europe who doesn't seem to make such a big deal about sex because once you make a big deal about something it becomes a big deal. But here in the US we slap a R for a boob in a scene but its PG3 for murder, serial killers and warfare WTF! Great post!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel you. Like I feel it's so irresponsible to make unprotected sex cool. Even authors should be mindful enough not to do that. At least CGrey made this production about getting tested and giving paperwork for that. It's a bit much, but it justifies his want of having lots of sex. And even then he still wears condoms

      Delete
  7. I love you hahaha #4 had me laughing but your list is true! :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok old lady...bahahaha

    But seriously. I totally agree with you. The sex in some of these books is so outrageous it's makes me glaze over or skip it entirely. I get that there's a fantasy element to it and it's not always supposed to be entirely realistic but the constant non stop sex (I mean seriously people - don't you work or sleep) get sboring.

    My husband and I have been trying to find new shows to watch that are FUN and not just all damaged people having sex. I mean - I've liked a lot of those shows but I don't need to see every single actors private parts or watch them have sex. We watch loads of BBC tv shows for that reason. People look like REAL people and the sex/nudity is there but not gratuitous.

    No one really takes time to develop relationships outside the bedroom anymore. Even if I enjoy the book (or show) on some level I still don't believe in the relationship anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?! I compare English actors with Hollywood ones and there's a BIG difference. Again I'm not sure if I'm saturated, but like you, I enjoy foreign shows better. It has plot even if it's sexed up (Tudors and Borgias)

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Thanks, Lisa, I'm happy to entertain you today :)

      Delete
  10. LOL well that's pretty much ALL romance that includes sex not just erotica. They all have supercocks and can go all day.

    I don't get the spending a whole day or 3+ hours in bed. I got shit to do, people! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?!

      I read this book where it got a lot of flack because the dude's penis is NORMAL, not small, just AVERAGE. The horror! I wonder if those girls who comments have always been with mega cocks. I bet their vaginas are super stretched out lol

      Delete
  11. NAILED IT! I mean seriously every time I read one and they don't go clean up--I think UTI yet there they are going at it again with no issues whatsever FOREVER! Plus stamina? I swear they are all on little blue, pink, and probably purple pills.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You said it. Like where is all this energy coming from? Acai berries?

      Delete
  12. Ha ha. Now I have 2 Live Crew popping through my head remember the :One and one.....I totally agree. The morning breath the numerous rounds and all that. I am never the biggest fan of sex scenes especially when they are over the top and TMI..... Less is more in my opinion when it comes to a well written sex scene.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you, I don't mind the author getting explicit, that's their call, but I want mine to have tension not just a quick bang. Give me an illusion of romance even if all these people want to do is just fuck each other's brains out

      Delete
  13. I don't read erotica but I think you made some good points. Especially about how things have changed. I have a 10 year old girl and we don't have cable, just Netflix, but I have to screen everything because even things that are suppose to be 'clean' aren't necessarily so. And music, that's even harder because I can't screen it. It's not like I can go and approve every song. I have her listen to pandora with kids channels and even sometimes things pop up that I really don't want her singing out loud. Yeah, things have definitely changed.
    I tend to skim sex in any book. It never does anything for me other than kind of gross me out. I don't know if I'm old or what. But I also want that emotional connection with the characters, that's what I'm always after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm personally just tired of it. After the first sex scene and after getting a good grasp of what the relationship is like, I can skip the rest.

      Sex is just everywhere. Even on ads, showing lots of skin, the models pouting, the dude's crotch padded, if you're not desirable then you're not good. It's hard especially when you have a little girl, the standard is different for us so I commend you for trying to filter stuff as much as you can. She'll thank you later

      Delete
  14. THANK YOU! I completely agree with you. The other thing that bugs me is when they have unprotected sex and then just get dressed and go about their day like the stuff is not leaking out and running down their leg. It's called gravity... you need to clean yourself up. :\ You're not alone. I used to love eroticas and sexy romances but a lot of the time I find myself either skimming or completely skipping over those parts just to get back to the story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And sometimes they even glorify it. Like "it's so cool that my semen is keeping her wet and running down her thighs. I'm such a macho caveman, marked her good". Pffft. That's just disgusting. No wonder he can smell her from afar.

      Delete
  15. I think what you have said and even more stuff that weirds me out (and I'll spare you that list) is one of the biggest reasons I have to limit the hotter mainstream romance and erotic ones and I've established a short list of authors who I read more than once. I don't get into a sex scene very often (too mechanical feeling) b/c I'm not really getting emotionally engaged with the writing so I end up skipping to get back to the rest of the action and dialogue. I am a mood reader so I like to feel and connect not just get titillated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good choice of word, mechanical. If I'm not able to connect emotionally to the sexy scene, I just feel like it's gratiutous sex. Like what person in their right mind would prioritize having sex over getting themselves to safety? It just doesn't make sense to me at that point. Even if I'm with the love of my life and we find ourselves caught in a shitstorm, I'll hold off on sex til we're at least stable. Who'd want to have sex in a jungle with all those bugs than can kill you with one bite??

      Delete
  16. This post is so awesome- love it! I really enjoy reading PNR as long as there's also a good story involved; there's got to be some substance and not just everyone getting all hot and bothered all the time, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the idea of forever mates in PNR, that's so romantic for me, so I understand when they get intense. And they at least have an excuse for their superhuman stamina, immune system, etc.

      Delete
  17. I think that is why I tend to gravitate toward the supernatural realm when dealing with erotica. At least they can set up the world so that some of that makes sense (or is at least easier to ignore... LOL). I think that is why I tend to be less critical when it is a PNR rather than just a contemp erotica. Eh, it is all fantasy anyway... just enjoy it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true. If you've seen True Blood, do you remember that scene where Eric was jackhammering that poor girl? It's hilarious, but believable given the context.

      I do enjoy erotica, I just think it's so over the top to the point of it being outrageous/hilarious at times. Authors trying to outdo each other.

      Delete
  18. You can't smell arousal from across the room, or wish condoms into existence, or have 5 orgasms in 6 seconds? Rookie!!! :D Erotica is almost never realistic, that's why I love it. Gotta live through these superhuman sex maniacs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Superheroes I tell you! I have Thor on my mind...

      Delete
  19. HA! Love this-- they have to be superhero to avoid disease for sure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They should donate their DNA to science, maybe well find a cure for AIDS or.some of the hepatitis strains

      Delete
  20. bwahahaha! Great post, Braine. We all think these things, right? I mean we have to! These 'people' with superhuman endurance leave me dumbfounded. ;) I've certainly never met any in real life who can have sex like rabbits and orgasm over and over again. And yet, I don't mind reading about them. ;) But as you know, I want, prefer, almost demand, that a strong story be wrapped around all the bunny-sex. :D I also had to giggle over what is shown on tv and in movies these days...don't get me started on music. Wow! I remember when NYPD Blue was 'the' controversy! Great post, my dear!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember this interview EL James did where she said new couples have a lot of sex. I completely agree so I don't find the bunny sex. I also cant help but laughter at some of the more outrageous moments like smelling my arousal from across the room? That sounds nasty

      Delete
  21. This is hilarious and so on point! I barely read erotica, but I read a lot of erotic romance because I like to be emotionally invested in the characters I read about. But I always crack up at the "I'm clean, are you clean?" scenarios, because anyone can definitely lie about that because hello, if you say you're not clean, then you're obviously not gonna get laid. And the "sense the mate" and "smell your arousal" hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa. The sense the mate sounds weird enough, but the arousal thing just throws me off so much, like damn what are you, a superdog? It kind of depends on the author's writing style too, some just write dumb steamy and sex scenes that always seem too forced. If I come across a book like that, I usually skim the sex scenes just to see how they'll break up and get back together in the end, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I poke fun, but I'm with you on the raw emotions. Erotica is basically a tale that cant be told without sex. Love and lust go hand in hand, each as powerful as the other. I like the strong emotions that drive the lust part though. Like how much love is needed for a vanilla to go kinky for example. Those transitions is what keeps me reading.

      Delete
  22. OMG...this is hilarious and so true...that is why you should never compare your sex life to a romance novel or your body to a cover magazine. Hey, and folks on sitcoms don't ever use the bathroom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least we know the difference. I remember when Twilight was at its peak and women were going to these events and seminars because they want their husbands to be more like Edward and the husbands are put in a very awkward place. Hahahaha poor blokes

      Delete
  23. ROFL! I love reading both romances and erotica, but I want a real story, plus some character development to go with the sex.
    The one thing that really gets to me is the no-condom sex. I don't care if neither of them have had sex for the past 10 years, pregnancy is still something that occurs when having sex, and also, they don't have to have sex to have for example a yeast infection.
    I can't say I have read all that many with extreme marathon sex, but it has definitely happened once or twice that I've rolled my eyes just a little bit. I especially do that when the female character is a virgin, and somehow STILL manages to go for it four or five times that very first night...
    Great post, Braine :D
    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And don't forget the synchronized orgasms and the immediate expertise of said virgin after a few rounds. Oh and how about the condom on sex but condomless blow job/cunnilingus with the "stranger". Like I will never forget the photos of oral STI my health teacher showed our class.

      Delete
  24. Great post you have here!! It does seem pretty unrealistic. It's why I rarely read erotica. I have always liked seeing the actual emotional depth more than the physical. Because sex can get repetitive and boring at times and most of the time I just skip the pages until they are done with the herculean sex....I mean really hours on end...no stopping at ALL? hehe It is almost funny because we all know that just doesn't happen. TMI: Not all penises are gigantic and not all women are wet 24/7 right? There has to be some realistic relevance. I get that its fantasy and what not but even if I am reading a PNR or a fantasy theme...when its sex I like to see true intimacy and not just the act happening. And there is a difference between sexual intimacy and just the act of sex. I like to be able to feel the heart wrenching emotions and the closeness and connection the couple have. And the whole claim: I am clean trust me even though I am a stranger. Pretty ridiculous. The only time no condoms are understandable is historical but even many of those I have read they still put those into the story. Great topic!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. What is with smelling arousal? Do normal humans really do that? Up close and personal, sure, but otherwise, what the heck? And yeah,let's just take it for granted that the other person is honest when they say they're clean, though most romances don't even go there. I read one romance where the couple each brought medical paperwork and they sat down and discussed the situation, Honestly, it upped the sexy for me. I loved it. More authors need to do that.

    You're right, erotic heroes are superheroes. Just, the juicy, squicky kind. :P

    ReplyDelete
  26. -sigh- The giant cocks that can go all day are indeed a rarity, but is it ever good. lol. Seriously, it makes me cringe some of the songs little kids are singing along to. When I was in like 5th grade, my grandma bought me a Salt n' Pepa tape ... Push it, push it real good ... lol. She didn't know any better, just that I wanted it. Yeah, my mom made it disappear soon after.

    ReplyDelete
  27. awesome post! sex is overrated. You know its bad when older dudes are sending you "dick pics" like forreal? I can't even.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Years ago, I was reading erotica and getting into it, then I moved back to erotic romance, however, some of those stories still stay on my mind. *heh* Hugs...RO

    ReplyDelete

My reviews are subjective & does not reflect that of Talk Supe's followers.

Also I LOVE commenting back so if you're checking out a post, leave a line or two and I promise to visit your blog back. Let's feed each other's blogger soul!