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ends 5.31

November 6, 2014

Suped Up: The Morbid & Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare by J.B Hartnett + Giveaway

Series: Stand-alone
Format: Mobi
Release Date: October 30, 2014
Publisher: Self
Source: Author via TRSOR Promotions
Genre: Contemporary Romance
My name is Genevieve Clare, professional mourner, destined to spend my days donning a black suit and throwing myself on top of caskets for money. Sometimes I mixed it up and threw myself on top of a willing warm body instead. Finding the right warm body though, that was a different story.


I really don't know what I was getting myself into when I signed up for J.B. Hartnett's THE MORBID & SULTRY TALES OF GENEVIEVE CLARE book tour. I just know that I love everything that I saw from that pretty cover art down to the fascinating blurb. A professional mourner? That's creepy and I expected a lot of deaths, which I got, and a side of horror, which I also got but in a different way. What I did NOT expect  was a lovely tale about love, friendship, family, and lots of laughs. This novel is PURE GOLD and I invite, encourage, recommend this to ALL OF YOU to read. This is a flucking #MUSTREAD and I can't stress that enough. 




The Morbid
Genevieve Clare decided to become a professional mourner after her parents and grandmother died in a fatal car crash on their way to meet her for dinner one night. The feeling of desolation and loneliness was too overwhelming so Gen decided to capitalize on that while at the same time use it to process her own grief and loss. For ten years Gen had a constant flux of customers whose requests range from the hilarious to heartbreaking. A lot of special relationships were made, bonds created that went beyond friendships and in the course of time Gen's been doing this, she's also changed people's lives, enriched it somehow, and became the dead's "voice" in the afterlife, executing their final wish or reading their last message before The Reaper finally got to them. 

I expected ghostly tales and though I didn't get that, I found lots of humor interspersed with her morbid employment. Just to be clear, this is a dark humorous contemporary romance so don't expect ghouls a'haunting, graveyard robberies or anything demonic. Just a different outlook on death and loss and something I'm sure a lot of you will like and appreciate. 

& Sultry
In the middle of all the black clothes, caskets, a parade of cremations, and burials, Genevieve's love life had it's own life, death, and resurrection story and what a BEAUTIFUL story it was. Okay, so Gen has always been in love with this boy, Ahren Finnegan, since she was eight. He was her first kiss and first love but death always seem to put a wedge on the progression of their relationship one way or the other. When Gen's parents died 10 years ago, Ahren was there to comfort her but shortly after things started going well for them, Ahren and his father got into an accident killing the older Finnegan. This tragedy and the fear of losing yet another loved one was too much for Gen to cope with so she asked him to leave and that Ahren did without question. 


Fast forward to the present and obviously both remained loyal to their love for each other. Ahren "forced" his way back in Gen's life which she didn't fight and except for a few heart to heart talks, their reconciliation went well. NO ANGST, just good old school loving and what a BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL (I can't say this enough) love story it is! I have no words except that I feel like it's up there with Noah and Allie's (The Notebook) story because it's THAT romantic and THAT good! The "conflict" lies on their fear of losing each other again and though they lived in the moment and fucked like there's no tomorrow, the fear of permanent loss weighed heavy on their hearts and I FELT that fear throughout the novel which was a good contrast to their carpe diem relationship approach. Oh and yes, the sex was hot except for that one time in the fields *goosebumps*.

Tales
THE MORBID & SULTRY TALES OF GENEVIEVE CLARE is filled with wonderful side characters and their colorful stories. Each of Gen's client has something fresh to offer, each small-town friend, neighbor, acquaintance, has their own bit to share giving this novel a personal and even intimate feel to it.  

of Genevieve Clare
I love Genevieve Clare to the moon and back and I wish this was a series and not stand-alone! Her profession might be morbid but she does it with a lot of heart. She might be a little strange but I loved how she handled her grief with a wicked sense of humor, she loves wholeheartedly from her family, Ahren, friends, down to her mandatory cake and pie, (she even sends off her friends and clients with a slice on their way to the incinerator), she can be meddlesome but it comes from a good place. Bottom line, Gen is someone I so want to be friends with! 

by J.B. Hartnett
As you can see, this review is looong and I'm sorry if it is. It's just I love THE MORBID & SULTRY TALES OF GENEVIEVE CLARE so HARD, in case my abuse of the caps lock is not enough clue, I want to pimp push it to y'all with full force to read! I'm still hungover by this tale so much that I'm tempted to read it again and I very rarely reread, like I think I can count in one hand the number of books I've ver reread ever. And J.B. Hartnett, if you're reading this, pretty please with cherry on top, write more morbid and sultry tales like Genevieve's, this is one kind of romance that I would like to see more of and follow. 





I approached Bryce Oskin, with caution, and when I reached his side, he demanded, “Who the fuck are you?”e'
Charm and disarm. Charm and disarm.
“I’m Genevieve Clare, Mr. Oskin,” I said with a grin. “I believe you hired me to come to your funeral? Mind if I join you?” I brought my own bag of goodies and opened a white baker’s box from Brewster’s.
“You some kind of spooky chick?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he studied me.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was… sweet on me already. “Kinda, yeah. If by spooky you mean I get paid to go to funerals, give people a nudge, and check for a heartbeat. Oh, and I live at Eden Hills. Then yeah, I’m spooky.” I grabbed a plastic fork and took a bite of amazing cake. It was always amazing, but today it seemed more amazing than usual.
“There,” I nodded toward the folder I’d set down on a little table to his side. “I just need you to sign on the dotted line. And the bag there is from Ruby. But I’m taking over the goody-bag duties, so tell me what you like and I’ll get it for you.” I licked my lips and did it seductively because I knew this was a man who appreciated a woman. Also known as a dirty old man. “Want a bite?”
“You gonna tell that Nazi Nurse Ratchet on me?” He jerked his head toward Cheryl.
“Are you gonna drop dead from half a slice of cake?” I countered.
“Nope.”
“Then I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Mr. Oskin. I visit once a week, unless I have a funeral, usually on Tuesday or Wednesday. I always bring cake for my clients. If there’s something you don’t like, just tell me. But I usually bring a selection.”
“You do this every week?” he asked, disbelief in his voice.
“What do you mean?”
“You eat like that every week? When you see other clients?” His eyes slid up and down the length of my body.
“I have a high metabolism.” I smiled. It really was a miracle I wasn’t as big as a house. But my sweet tooth was limited to sharing with clients. I had to give myself some sort of boundaries.
He grabbed the plastic fork I’d handed him and stabbed the slice of Meyer lemon cake with vanilla bean cream cheese frosting. His eyes closed, and when they opened, he said, “God bless you.” After a few more bites, he asked, “So, you’re gonna open up my box and poke me before they burn me, right?”
“Yes, sir, I’ll make sure you’re good and dead.”
“Spooky chick.” His tone was gruff, but his lip tipped up in the corner.
I saw it with pride. Disarmament, accomplished.
Bryce Oskin had ordered the Shake N Bake. I had permission from most of the mortuaries and crematories to open the casket and check the body. I mean, you could just tell when someone was dead. By the time I had my turn with the deceased, they were most likely already embalmed. But some of them chose not to be, or if they were, they hired me to come to their place of death and make damn sure there was no chance in hell they were coming back to life.
A while back, there was a highly publicized case in Southern California. A woman had been pronounced dead and taken to the hospital morgue. But when they opened the fridge for her to be transported to the funeral home, they saw obvious signs of a struggle. She’d been put in there alive.
Yikes.

I’d never been afraid of death, and, after my family died and the man I loved almost had, I embraced death in my own strange way. I made it my life’s work, I guess. While it took a lot to creep me out, that story gave me the heebie-jeebies something fierce. It was all over the news. Every staff member from the hospital to the morgue was investigated then sued or fired or both. And, of course, old people sitting in the common room of a rest home from the wee a.m. hours to beddy-bye time, saw that story six times in one day, minimum. I ended up receiving so many requests to make sure they weren’t breathing, I added the Shake N Bake to my website.




Julie is a Southern California native, a fan of a really good story (preferably romance with a happily ever after), really good pie (preferably pumpkin) and copious amounts of coffee (preferably Folgers).

She has always enjoyed writing and at one time thought she could be a singer songwriter...the 'writer' part is the one that stuck. Julie is obsessed with pi...the equation(and the food). She's allergic to cats and cantaloupe and hates mushrooms...so if you ever want to give her a gift, those are out for sure.She currently lives with her own romance hero husband and two boys in Melbourne, Australia.


Stalk Julie
Facebook | @JulieHartnett | Website | Goodreads





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36 comments:

  1. I would NOT want Genevieve's job, but what a cool premise for a book! I totally get why you jumped at the chance to participate in this blog tour. Thanks for broadening my horizons, Braine, I never knew that a title like this even existed, let alone that it would be shelves under Contemporary Romance.

    Carmel @ Rabid Reads.

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    1. Carmel, I know you rarely read contemporary romance if at all but I hope you make an exception for this, you MUST!!!

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  2. A personal mourner sounds kind of creepy and cool at the same time! I love how original this already sounds and I haven't even read it yet!

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    1. I hope the creep factor lures you in, you won't be sorry you read this!

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  3. I am totally intrigued by this one. it sounds so unique and different. A professional mourner? morbid humor.... love that.

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    1. I hope you read it soon, I saw it on your book haul earlier :D

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  4. A professional mourner? What does that job entail, I wonder? It sounds all kinds of creepy, but I must admit the romance you mentioned is enough enticement for me. five stars!

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    1. This book is all kinds of wonderful, please read it!!

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  5. Spooky chick, bwahahaha. I like this, added to my wishlist. I have got to try it, I just have too and you know I love my contemporary romances ;)

    thanks for another awesome recommend Braine

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    1. You're welcome and don't let it sit on your wishlist too long!

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  6. I have heard about these, freaky practice

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  7. I don't know that I would've picked this one up on my own, Braine. But your review has convinced me. If a book makes that much of an impact on you, it's a winner. ;) I'm honestly intrigued by Genevieve and her unique job. And the love story with Ahren has my interested as well. Lovely and very convincing review, lady! :)

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    1. Goodness, the romance is just... I have no words aside from BEAUTIFUL

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  8. Oh wow, yes! That blurb totally snags one. And her story sounds just fascinating. Good catch, Braine!

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    1. Thank god I signed up for the tour otherwise I would've missed such an amazing story!

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  9. I'm intrigued, and wondering if someone actually does this for a living. Great review :D

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    1. Oh there are but just not as fabulous as Genevieve.

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  10. aaaaand you made me buy it..it's now on my Nook..LOL

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  11. Wow, I have to say Genevieve's job is one of the most unique ones I've ever heard of, it definitely does sound morbid. The love story does sound like it fit in well, but yeah I don't want to know about what happens in that field haha. Great review Braine!

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    1. Thanks Jeann, their love story is one of the most beautiful one I've ever read like EVER!

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  12. Oh I love the cover and even more your review! Now I really want to read it as well! you're baaad! I didn't need another book lol but now I want to discover Genevieve, to discover her workd and to see how she does all that! Great review!

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    1. ROFL, I'm happy I did my job right. GRAB A COPY!

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  13. Wow, I am surprised by the humor. The cover tells a different story. You have me intrigued.

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  14. Okay that sounds crazy interesting. I was seriously loving on that cover too. Thanks for the heads up Braine!

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    1. You're most welcome and I'm happy to hear the cover art passed your standards :P

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  15. okay this sounds both kind of creepy and fun, looks very unique o.o i want.

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  16. What a different premise, Braine! Color me intrigued. I love stories that are completely different from all other stories I've heard of. Great review.

    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

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    1. This is definitely a very different contemporary romance read, something you should try even out of curiosity

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  17. The last thing I thought after seeing the cover was that it was a contemporary romance, but that intrigued me even more and after reading your review... This book sounds perfect for me... I want! I want! I want!

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    1. Right? I had to do a double check when I saw it's contemporary romance, the blurb is vague too so all we have are first impressions.

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  18. Added to my Goodreads shelf! Sounds absolutely amazing!

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  19. I don't know how I missed this review, but this sounds fantastic! Such a lovely, haunting cover. Thanks for sharing!

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