August 28, 2013

Cover Reveal+Excerpt: Synchronized Breathing by Tara Ellison

Synchronized Breathing
Tara Ellison
The Writer's Coffee Shop
November 14, 2013
Literature & Fiction
Scarlett Spencer's life is a mess. Her lemon of a marriage has just imploded and she is headed to Beverly Hills, toddler in tow, to move in with her highly over-sexed mother, CeCe.

Having to move in with her mother at the ripe old age of thirty-five seems to loudly announce her failure as an adult. Scarlett is keenly aware that she is paying the price for her history of poor choices in men - and so is her young son, Oliver.

Living in cramped quarters with one's mother is not without its challenges - even in Beverly Hills. Living amongst the rich and beautiful can really highlight your own perceived shortcomings and Scarlett has never felt more of a failure. Finding employment again after being a stay-at-home mother isn't easy, as she struggles to put together pieces of a puzzle that never quite fit before.

Scarlett's mother CeCe is wildly successful in the men department and has more dates than any woman half her age. CeCe has been married three times, so leaving husbands is a subject she knows something about. She counsel Scarlett that "Husbands are left by putting one foot in front of the other, and never looking back." Of course, the difference is that CeCe usually has the next man waiting in the wings...

After much prodding from CeCe, Scarlett wades back into the Hollywood dating pool - this time as a single mom- and finds that all the rules have changed.
Read more to see the cover

“Every marriage is work, but the trick is to pick someone you actually want to be married to.” Susan smiled at me. 

Susan was my opposite in almost every way. Logical and levelheaded, her pragmatic view of life was so foreign to me that I often thought she was speaking another language.

“I’ll try to remember that for next time,” I said. “If there ever is a next time.”

“You gave it your best shot,” she said. “Personally, I thought you should have bailed right after you found all those nude photos. You’ve been very tolerant, as far as I’m concerned.”

“What photos are you talking about?” Autumn asked. “Why I don’t know about this?”

“You’ve been away on location. Tell her.” Emma nudged me.

“One day, while I was using the computer, I stumbled upon his extensive nude photo collection.”

“Of other women?” Autumn shrieked.

“No . . . that would actually make a certain amount of sense. They were all nude pictures of him, but mostly just of his dick.”

I got up and put another log in the fire, as Autumn scrambled to reclaim her jaw from the floor.

Stunned silence followed, so I pressed on. “His penis obsession was hardly a new thing. After all, it was his most prized possession, but seeing the photos en masse was a bit much. There were hundreds of pictures of his penis—chilling out in the garden, lathering himself in the bath, erect penis checking the mailbox. It was nuts. It was like that traveling Gnome series of photos—but each one featuring his dick in a new pose. Even his winking asshole made some artistic cameos!”

“Jeez . . . how on earth did he manage that?” asked Autumn, instantly intrigued.

“See . . . all that yoga pays off.” Susan’s quip sent Emma into hysterics.

“Hey, I’m not saying the guy isn’t creative! It’s amazing how creative you can be when you have nothing to do all day but play with yourself.” I squeezed myself back on the couch in between Emma and Autumn.

“Wow . . . I had no idea. I guess he’s not the total bore I thought he was after all,”  Autumn said with awe. “I just had less and less respect for him and that’s a very difficult thing to overcome in a marriage, especially with all of our other issues.”

“So, what did you say to him?” Autumn was now almost bouncing out of her seat with excitement.

“I asked him what he was doing with all the photos. He laughed and said he was ‘just having some fun’. He even turned one of the photos into his screensaver so that twelve gleaming images of his penis greeted me every time I used the computer. It felt like I was living with a teenage boy who’d just discovered the pleasures of wanking and not a nearly-forty-year-old man. CeCe caught an eyeful too. She was there when I found them.”

“What did she say?” asked Emma.

“She said she was underwhelmed.” 

“And let’s face it, CeCe would know!” Susan said, sending Emma into another fit of giggles.

“Wow. I had no idea.” Autumn continued to grapple with the news. “He just looks so . . . vanilla to me.”

“That’s what all the gay guys do,” said Emma. “They send each other pictures of their dicks! Do you think he flipped to the other team?”

“Who knows what he was up to? All I could think was ‘What am I doing here?’ I’m exhausted from nursing and caring for the baby all day and night while my unemployed husband blasts music and dances around naked in the garden taking pictures of his cock, like some demented elf.”
Pre-order links to follow

Tara Ellison was born in London and raised between Sydney and Hong Kong. Her childhood was spent immersed in American culture and she eventually realized her dream of moving to the US to pursue a career as an actress. The acting career was not a good fit and she spent many years trying to figure out what to do next. After a difficult divorce, she turned to her love of writing and Synchronized Breathing was born.

Link up with Tara

The cover, though lovely, is misleading. 
Read the penis excerpt to know why.


  1. I'm lol'ing. I was like what penis excerpt so I read the excerpt and ummmm yeah. Sounds amusing.

    1. IKR?! I immediately asked for an ARC after reading that excerpt.


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