November 6, 2012

Would You Rather with Jeanie Archer and Alexandra Allred

I would like to personally thank the person responsible for these questions as it turned into over an hour of Romper Room yelling and hilarity iwth the REAL Jeanie Archer. When I saw these questions, I called my buddy, Gina, and read her the questions. She then made me answer first as to how I thought she -- Jeanie -- would answer. This resulted in much laughter and some yelling as well when I missed the mark.

Questions # 3, 5 and 8 actually resulted in very vulgar talk and snickering like we were 8th grade boys in the locker room. -  Alexandra Allred

1. Would you rather be bitten by a zombie and crave brains or get turned into a vampire and drink blood all the time?
Jeanie: A vampire! Then I would look good all the time.
Alex: A vampire but only because vampires are agile and limber. I can't imagine anyone wanting to move like a zombie. They are slow and disgusting.

2. Have a hairy back or facial hair like Abe Lincoln?
Jeanie: Back
Alex: What? I figured you'd say facial hair. You can always get waxed but a hairy back is gross!
Jeanie: You know how cheap I am!! I'm not spending all that money on wax on my face when I can shave at home for free!
Alex: Fine.

3. Kiss a hobo w/ tongue or lick their armpit?
[cannot repeat much of what was said ...]
Alex: I say you would lick the armpit?
Jeanie: What?! You don't know me at all! Lickin' an armpit would be like licking a bathtub drain. I can't do that.
Alex: But you have no idea where his mouth has been!
Jeanie: I have no idea where his armpit has been. Is it hairy? Is his armpit hairy and sweaty?
Alex: Probably.
Jeanie: That's disgusting. Nope. His mouth.
Alex: Definately his armpit. I could lick his armpit and then brush my teeth but I have no idea what's been in his mouth.

4. Eat cat or dog food?
Jeanie: I swear, if you mess this up we are no longer friends.
Alex: Dog food. You would rather eat dog friends.
Jeanie: We can still be friends.

5. Sleep with Burger King or Ronald McDonald?
[more obscenity that cannot be passed along. Finally ...]
Jeanie: You know I like "McDonald's" food better but I cannot sleep with that man! Burger King.
Alex: Really? But he's got a giant head ...
[more information that cannot be written but let's just say Jeanie/Gina was in rare form]

6. Go back to the past or jump to the future?
Jeanie: You know what I'm going to say about this one.
Alex: Yeah. Past.
Jeanie: You damned right. You know I live in the past ... that's where my 135 lbs frame is!

7. Listen to Gangnam Style for an hour or Call Me Maybe?
[This is funny because Jeanie, a.k.a. Gina didn't know those songs. I had to sing them to her. Then, Ohhhhh.]
Jeanie: Definitely Call Me Maybe.

8. Dance on a pole or give someone a lap dance?
[This is another one that resulted in yelling and a declaration that I don't "know" her.]
Alex: A lap dance.
Jeanie: You honestly see me giving someone a lap dance.
Alex: Well... my other choice was pole dance.
Jeanie: Do you see me giving someone a lap dance?
Alex: Do I see you giving a pole dance any better?
Jeanie: Hell, I dunno. This is your book.
Alex: This is YOU!
Jeanie: Well, apparently you don't know me since you think I'd give someone a lap dance.
Alex: I didn't say you'd give a lap dance willy-nilly but if you had to make a choice, I guessed lap dance.
Jeanie: You have no idea who I am! NEXT QUESTION!

9. Talk like yoda or breath like Darth Vader?
Jeanie: God, this is so obvious.
Alex: Talk like Yoda?
Jeanie: What?!
[For the next five full minutes she had to breath in the phone like Darth Vadar to prove this point to me. It was very difficult getting her back on track.]

10. Be rich but dumb or be poor but you are a genius?
[laughing ...]
Jeanie: You better get this one right.
Alex: Easy. You'd rather be dumb but rich.
Jeanie: Damned straight. And I know what you'd want. You'd want to be a genius but poor which is so stupid! You can hire smart people to be around you but what good is it to be poor if you could be rich?
Alex: You don't know me at all!! I'm so disappointed in you.

If you think this interview is hilarious, wait til you read the book.
Paperback giveaway happening right now.


  1. These are the most amazing questions I have ever read and the most distastefull images ever created in my brain ,on my tongue or in my nose. No way would I touch Cheney or Limbaugh with a 10 foot pole. YECH. Thanks for the opportunity to get this book. We all need a laugh.

    1. I swear I steered clear of drinking any form of liquid otherwise it's all going to come out of my nose thanks to Jeanie.


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