December 23, 2011

Bite Me by Christopher Moore

read an excerpt
Series: Love Story 3
Release Date: March 23, 2010
Format: Hardcover
Purchase Link: Amazon
The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. 'Cept there's no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue.

Abby wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she's really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein(R) platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there's that vampire cat Chet, who's getting bigger and smarter--and thirstier--by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, "mais non" . . .

Before you can say "OMG WTF?" Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby's gay Goth friend Jared, and SF's finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that's when the fun really begins.
Abigail Van Normal is miles away from your normal teenager and so is this story. I would classify this as a YA book but with all the cussing and Abigail's failed attempts to hump and be humped, I understand why this would be better appreciated and a more appropriate read for mature readers... just to be on the safe side.

So this is one of those stories that doesn't really require a lof thinking like Novels on the Run's Michelle would say. But though ridiculous and definitely not lacking on hilarity, this book was smartly written. After all it takes a lot of smarticles to be funny, I think I read that somewhere and I'm just paraphrasing but that's the case with Christopher Moore.

So we have Elder and young vampires, cat and rat vampires, vampire hunters and goth chick Abigail running around San Francisco. Due to thoughtless incessant feeding, a huge stray cat, Chet, was accidentally turned into a vampire and by fusing human DNA with feline DNA, Chet becomes smarter and makes his own coven. Now a large number of stray cats are running around the Bay Area draining people of blood.

Like the Hangover movies, this is just one crazy story. I love Moore's sense of humor and his characters are just non stop fun. Mayhem seems to be his trademark and for a change, it's nice to read a funny vampire story. Even the dialogue is messed up! If you read the excerpt, you'd understand what I'm trying to say.

So if you are looking for a funny read, pick this stand alone book. I promise it won't disappoint.

P.S. Thanks Shaun and Diana for informing me that this is part of a series! I don't know why I missed that but now that I've looked it up, I'm out to get the two other books. :D Thanks for the holiday gift guys.


  1. It can be a stand alone, but it is part of a series. "blood sucking fiends" "you suck" and "bite me"

  2. It is apart of a series. I got this book, but didn't get the chance to read it. But Christopher Moore is such a great author. I love his sense of humor, it is dark and quirky. His books are a blast to read. Awesome review hon, thank you :)

  3. ahhh... I didn't know that! lol thanks for the update guys, let me do the necessary corrections :)


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